Talkback. Talk - Back.

BzzT. I'm back! After a week long break of blogging, blogger finally decided to let my blog be seen on the computers of two-legged homo sapiens, and give me a passport back into the human realm.

Hmmm. I've got so much to blog, but I just can't remember what to blog about already. jeez ~

Oh yah. Other then the fact that my hair is getting from unruly to ruthless. Its so hard to style my hair nowadays that I dont even bother to style my hair when I go out nowadays *(for those who know me well enough, I ALWAYS used to style my hair everywhere I go.)

darn... I have to get my hair fixed again. Maybe Toa Payoh Hub doesn't work well on my hair.

I'll have to return back to my fav shop at Jurong Central...


Sometimes... I wonder if I'm really AJ. Coz I'm like some sort of mismatched puzzle in the sophisticated AJ culture.

I embody the personality of a 100% straight guy. Mindset, thinking, activities and physical habits. I'm still yet to find an AJ that is similar to me in terms of personality...

Frankly, when people say guys are simple-minded, (referring to straight guys) they're generally quite right. And not in a bad way either!

I really don't get it when I see so many of my AJ friends talk about people around them - in the negative way. Its really depressing when I hear them rave and rant about everything that seems to revolve around affecting them...

.. you know... you never know if... they might be talking about you to other people as well...

I follow, by heart, and I hold my belief close to my heart - that you should do to others what you would want others to do to you.
or a confucious would say - do not do unto others what you would not want others to do to you...

Its a simple logic, but it makes life beautiful. It gives people no reason to bitch about me, or to back stab me, simply because doing so would result in a massive surge of guilt.

People revel in titles like "Bitch Queen", or "I'm a bitch, do you care?"

Like no? I don't care that you're a bitch, only that people like you will realize its very difficult to find a close friend, simply because - its too risky and dangerous.

sigh... I'm tired... I'm really tired... In a span of 3 days, I've heard seven different people bitch to me about friends, working colleagues, their dog, parent and everything under the sun.

They're my friends, truly... and I guess this is their way of showing me how close I am to them, and how much I mean to them (that I can keep a secret).

But... Its starting to wear me down...
I miss the times where I spent with my close, straight, guy friends, talking about stuff that sets you thinking...
stuff like... "What would happen if your parents went bankrupt?", or "How would your dream house look like?"
to things like Russell Peter's corney jokes and dissecting Maslow's Hierachy of Needs.

People I used to be able to crap with for hours are gone now... People like Desmond in primary school, Chong Loon in secondary school and Timothy in poly...

... really, really long for something intellectual, instead of raving, self deprecating words...




I envy straight guys, in a way... They don't have to compare themselves with people, simply because they do not understand how the girl's mind works...

some obnoxiously ugly guy can go up to a pretty girl in a bar and say, "Hey girl, wanna have some fun tonight?" - he gets slapped, and he goes back to his friends and say...
"jeez guys, I think its my breath... *sniffs* urgh.. it stinks! Lets try it another day."

bottomline is, there's a beautiful gray area in between guys and girls that provide a mystery that appreciates each individual's worth.

Be it personality or looks, each has a chance.

not.. so much in the AJ circle. Its never "love at first sight", rather "lust at first sight" and later, upon realizing the cost of loving, they break off and pretend nothing ever happened.


I guess I'm pretty much passive in nature... I'd usually wait for another person to make the first step before I'd do anything... I hate making decisions, and I usually like to be quiet... finding the "awkward silence" moments really beautiful...

I always have the "ideal" type of guy..... but he's always in my reflection or in my dream... but then again, I guess its because I've hardly found anybody close to me...

except him......